~persahabatan~

the answer to this question really revolves around what you consider to be 'true friendship.' It is inevitable that you will meet people in your life with whom you have a deep connection, but then ultimately lose contact. Does that mean that they weren't a true friend, or did circumstances drive you apart?


But is real friendship based on contact? Or is it based on dependability; knowing that no matter how long it's been, you could call that person and they would help you out of a jam.
Others may consider real friendship a relationship where they can have fun, be relaxed and never force conversation.


Whatever your definition of real friendship, it is clear that it can often be hard to find, and even harder to hold onto.


Convenience


This is a big killer when trying to find real friendship. Friendships may seem real at the time, only for one or both parties to lose interest once the friendship is no longer convenient. As well as this, you may meet someone abroad, or at a party of a mutual friend and establish a bond; but if you live far apart then this won't necessarily endure, even if the connection was real at the time, because the right circumstances are not their to allow it to flourish.


In a truly global world, people staying in one place long enough to form a true bond is harder than you may think. Things and people change rapidly and without warning.


Growing Apart


This is a huge issue when thinking about what people would term 'real friendship.' You may still regularly see the person who was your best friend at age five, but is it a real connection still, or are you just carrying on because that's the way you've always been? I'm not saying that it is impossible for friendships to endure, but it is also possible for them to become a habit.


The Love Factor


This is particularly, but not exclusively a problem for cross gender friendships. Films such as 'When Harry Met Sally' exemplify this problem nicely. You may think that you have struck up a deep and meaningful, real friendship with someone, only to find later on down the line that they had exactly one reason for interest in you. It is also possible to find that what was a real friendship to begin with blossoms only on one side, ultimately destroying the bond.


Don't Despair


After all this doom and gloom I would like to add a lighter note; it is possible to find real friendship. Like finding love, you do have to leave yourself open and this does let in the good and the bad. However, the rewards are so great in finding real friendship that it is worth the trials. Make time for the new people that you meet; don't assume that they don't want to be friends - most people are open and nice, no matter what you might believe. Be friendly and put yourself out there, and the chances are highly in your favour that you will find the real friendship which will last you a lifetime.